A diver or a swimmer?

The sea is always wonderful, but it’s a tad different while you’re in it. 

Silence is easy. It’s not turbid, everything’s clear and lucid. You swim and you just enjoy it 

But sea, sea’s not always like that. Rather, it’s like emotions – comes and goes. Sometimes it’s all quiet and sometimes it’s stormy. Sometimes it pulls you in, sometimes it helps you out. The sea can be all of sad, jolly, cross or playful  

All of these conditions can change in a minute. Yes, just a minute – exactly the same way our mood can take a sharp turn for the worse or for the better. 

Here’s one story about him and about us  

I am in the sea and I am swimming. 

It is calm! The water is warm and clear. My friend is next to me. 

We swim along the surface and we dive here and there. 

We enjoy the marine plants and the tender currents, which sway them around. Me and the countless small fish are exchanging looks and smile in delight to one another and to everything around us. 

Yes, that’s right, nothing dramatic, just beauty, calmness and harmony. 

So there, but gradually something started to change… just like that… 

Water swayed up and down  

Waves rose, foamy waves, with large, sloping crests. 

This creates doubt in our minds! 

I don’t know what came first!? 

Whether a lot of murky thoughts in one’s head, or the turbidity in the water  

But my vision is already cloudedone strengthens the other 

The more thoughts, the stormier the sea, the more turbid the water, the more anxiety and thoughts in one’s head, and again, and again, and again… 

What are we to do where should we go? This is getting scary! 

The sea is growling. We clench and grit our teethdisappointed, tense and stressed out. 

We entered a place very far awaywe swam here a long time in calm waters, and now…? Going back is unthinkable  

We’re seeking a shore elsewhere, somewhere closer to us  

Over there! 

Thither! 

Yes! But!!! 

The coast is rocky and going up steep as a wall! Waves hit it hard! It is dangerous! It’s dry land, but it’s inapproachable! 

Here and there bare and sharp rocks are seen, protruding over the waves  

Where do we get out? 

We’re moving next to one another with my buddy  

But I am already feeling absenceI do not feel mutual belonging; it’s as if I am on my own  

We both need to be together, in body and in spirit  

We are both experienced and strong swimmers, alas, sea tosses are around as flotsam and exhausts us 

My head reelsI swallowing salty water against my will and I feel sick, I’m about to vomit, my stomach contracts. Fatigue increases and takes me over, bit by bit  

My buddy also starts breaking 

What should I do? This is not working! The sea will swallow us whole! 

I can’t fight it! I can’t fight the thoughts in my head! 

suffering 

I stop 

I let go  

Water starts dangling me around in its crazy rhythm. 

I realize it now! I will follow its rhythm. I will breathe in every time a wave passes me by. I will dive below each wave that comes. But now with clear lungs, with clear thoughts and alert. 

 

It works! 

My comrade leaves me and keeps splitting the waves forward, with his strength diminishing. 

I try to shout at him to look at me, to tell him I know he we should relax in the water  

No! He continues! He does not stop! 

I will not leave you, though! 

I make the dive! I am moving below water, below the wave. 

But there it’s all clear. Out there, on the surface, water foams like crazy, but down here it’s so quiet, so calm. 

The frantic thoughts stopped. 

I found the center deep inside of me, in the sea. 

I stopped resisting, stopped fighting the thoughts, the waves. 

I merged! With my rhythm, with life, with feelings, with water  

I dive deeply and I move bravely, confidently, strong. 

And my poor friend, up there, on the surface, keeps flopping about and waddling 

I am catching up to him  

He’s palehis eyes are glazed and empty, twistedanguished, he’s exhaustedfiled, overfilling with thoughts, fears, he’s feverish, his mind is suffocating, he’s drowning in the waves  

I take him with me below waterbut he refuses, he fights, he does not believe! 

He continues, on his own, trying to fight the crazy sea! He’s got no strength… but he keeps on and on 

What should I do? 

What should I do?… 

I can keep doing this for a long time. My apnea is deep, long, permanent. I stay there for a minute, two or three deep below the waves, below water and I glide gently and beautifully. My mind is in mediation, it’s as if it does not exist  

It’s just the Mind and the Sea! 

But they are one! 

The mind! 

It’s all that’s left. 

I am him, and the waves, and the rocks, and my buddy! I am everything! 

It is all within my grasp… or in my mind… or even beyond! And this “beyond” is me, and it leads my way! 

 

I take a deep breath! I see! There! 

A huge, powerful and stable, smooth rock! It is where waves split! 

They circumvent it! 

A way! They make way for me and they show me! 

I dive deeply  

I kick off with my feet, and the warm currents carry me. 

I have the coast here in front of me. Even though the coast is small – it’s a huge relief! It’s salvation!  

I step on solid ground! 

Solid ground! Amidst the sea! Amidst the ocean! 

I wave to my buddy from farther away. 

See me! See me! 

Please, oh, Sea! Let the swimmer look up and see me there! 

This coast is here for us! 

I bow to you, to all of us! 

Are you a swimmer, or a diver? 

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